I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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