Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Me too!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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