Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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