The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize