on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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