he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
