and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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