do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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