So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
