I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize