Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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