I wish i was in the wii world.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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