There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
