I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize