Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
