butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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