remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize