I seem to have left my pride at pride
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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