I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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