I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
FUCK WHALES
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