4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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