Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
