Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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