I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
