he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
