how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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