the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
