Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
