I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i now understand why vodka
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
