Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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