Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
