i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize