Non-Jews are for practice
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're like the curious george of whores
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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