Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
