i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
