sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
this is an emotional support booty call
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize