What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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