my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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