I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
