If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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