i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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