Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
