Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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