just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
