Nicole vs. Life
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
