In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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