She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
