kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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