i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize