I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
