After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
