Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
