she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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