I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
