You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
