You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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