I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
cat food counts as protein by the way
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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