He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
