Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
