I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
