pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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