WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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