i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
