She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i came on her dog
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
