It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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