i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Randomize
