I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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