you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
